i hate life right now, i try very hard to be positive but sometimes it just becomes too much. i only made it through school by telling myself that i could go home and it would be good again for a while.
well i am home and it is not good, i keep forgetting while i am at school how much i don't get along with my family. i have anger problems cause of school and here i get angrier and angrier. because when i get angry i try to explain why i am angry to other people and at school i can at least do that sometimes, here i start and then i get cut off, they don't let me talk. i used to hate talking and now i just give up, its like they don't know me i know i've grown up some.
see i am tryign this new thing about being really nice to people but they don't believe me. they jsut make fun of me when they say i would have helped if they had asked for it. or that we have even more different tastes than before, all my friends ahve better things to do so i get stuck at home alot not to mention the storm that blew through and snowed a foot at my house. so when we finally go out for dinner and a cool movie my brother gets as fucking childish on me and pretends like he will go see the movie even if he doesn't want to. i'm not an idiot the second we get out of there or whatever he'll start complaining and i hate him for it. so suddenly we get to go home and watch my dad's dumb movies which i totally do not want to see but i put p with it because i am being nice.
i am always putting their stupid feelings in front of mine, i can't even tell them i hate my school because i am worried they would think i was just a brat wasting money. i hate my family sometimes i try to pretend its alright and they don't catch on but i get so FUCKing tired of all their god damn crap!!!
i hate my school, i hate my family, i am even startign to hate my friends, and i am hating my life