recently the only thing that i live for is finding new and good music to drown out my own soundtrack of life. no seriously i have bought like 20 to 30 cd's in the last three months and i am still hungry for more sadly i am out of space on my ipod...

anyway its been like two months almost since i last updated so i thought i might just say a few things. ok well if you recall i hate my school with i still hate it, the only reason i even go these days is so my mom won't get pissed.
often though i find myself calling her between classes because i am already so fucked up and every little thing pushes me over. i actually have been late and missed a few classes cause i was on the phone mostly cause i cry for like twenty minutes. it sucks. no here knows how much i hate them for making me feel like crap and event eh people i might have called friends are now the enemy

i am about to vent so i suggest you skip this part if you don't want to hear it!!!!
ok so the one person who really gets to me is this girl, Kat, who for a while we were good friends. But now it seems that in at least chemistry i am the bad guy, the one who always screws up. ok what really got me was last week we were doing a quick experiment and after messing up a little on the last one i decided to just tell everyone the directions and take data. well i did but somehow our results got messed up and suddenly the teacher is over there and she is pointing the problem at me. i wanted to scream "i didn't fucking do anything!!!" but i didn't.

and if that's not enough i am trying to start a non-profit and when i first came up with the idea i thought she would be a good tech lead. well i have been doing all the work, getting contact and shit but suddenly she is trying to take over. all the adults we talk to think of her as the lead and i am fine with her being in charge of stuff but she is stealing the one thing i have left to believe in and strive for here. i sort of want to just quit on her and let her do it by herself and just stop talking to her, she is the real reason i call ym mom five times a day and cry on the phone....


ok done venting!!!
ok so that's it and anyone who reads this please tell me some awesome bands and stuff to help in my quest for music!!!!