over dramatic title but it has meaning i promise.
so last night at around 10 o'clock i was hanging around with two of my dorm buddies when suddenly one ( my ex-roommate and favorite person at school) mentions suicide. so we all sort of vaguely discuss how hard it was for us at some point and i figured that probably tons of people contemplate it. but of course someone says something ( probably me)and my ex-roommate runs off to her room and we follow her to find ehr crying. so of coruse this one girl who was doing ehr homework in the common room notices and comes in and proceeded to take my spot for comforting her so i can just sit there and do jack shit.

so after a while we start making jokes and the nights gets better. but at some point the girl from the common room finds out my ex-roommate was contemplating 9real or not)
so of course next day she tells the school counselor and her, ex-roommate, and a random friend are 1/2 hour late for class cause having a little talk. ok i know telling the teacher was the right thing but i talked to her and i assumed she could be honest with me, she was even making jokes about having to sit through the little talk. so not only did that make feel left out and annoyed that no one ever notices my pain. But then tonight both the ex-roommate and the girl were like 1/2 an hour late for dorm check cause out in town with the counselor.

so i know its good she had the talk and all the shit but still i wish someone would notice me and help me, and give so fucking attention because i spent the entire day feeling like a fucking loser and lonely one because the only person i actually talked with is this new german girl who is nice but still....
WHY THE FUCK DID I COME BACK???????